Parenting Tip

I read this in my Moms flip calendar for June 30, and thought it was so good...how applicable for my own children and those I work with at school and church. The words were thought provoking and convicting for me. They were a good reminder, especially these days of 'everyone being with everyone' almost all the time all summer. Parenting is hard work, but sure is rewarding, too.

"Discipline is to teach; punishment is to unload anger.
Discipline is reasoned; punishment is inflamed emotion.
Discipline is thought through; punishment is too enraged to think.
When parents discipline, they are working on their child's needs, but when they simply punish, parents are working mostly on their own needs."
-Ron Hutchcraft

What do you think of his words?

A Positive Update

I never realized how happy a DRY cement floor could make me! After nearly two weeks, the water ceased coming in, and after a big rain no water came seeping in. SO, we wait for the next big rain, and hope the minor repairs Ken has done will take care of things. We discovered it was combination of bad factors: full gutters (have to clean them a lot in our wooded area, full of pine trees) so the rain dumped in the corner, soft sand in the corner that was sloping toward the house, a helpful dog who enjoyed digging in the soft sand, making the corner sloping toward the house more prominent, and extreme rains - 7 inches in 5 days a few weeks back.

Ken cleaned out the gutters, added five wheelbarrows of dirt to the corner, sloped it AWAY from the house, I planted dune grass in that corner, he added longer downspouts to direct water further from house...so we are hopeful. The carpet is completely dried, rolled up, and in the garage. We are hoping to have it re-installed once we know for sure there's no water issue. We are glad it was in the sun for four days to kill anything in it. The backing looks great - no mildew, spots, etc. What an adventure. If I don't soak up any water with shop vacs for a long time, I'm OK with that!

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all Moms who read this! You are SPECIAL! We had a nice Mother's Day overall. Of course it is always bittersweet for me, so the tears flow at times. I felt the 'loss' of my stepmom/my kids' Grandma this year, too, which still makes me sad. This year at church we could purchase hanging baskets in honor or memory of a mom in our life. The front of the auditorium was beautiful - nearly 70 fresh, colorful baskets decorating the stage. Thanks, Joanne! I purchased one in memory of my mom from all of us and Ken purchased one for me from the crew. They are now hanging from my porch. Pastor Chris gave an excellent sermon on the priority of motherhood. After church we had a simple dinner of leftovers, the kids gave me sweet gifts from school and church and a special acrostic they made and Ken typed up with the kids' names, all took naps, we played at a park in Cedar Springs (we are becoming experts on all the local parks: "Let's go to the one with the red swirly slide!" say the kids), then into the Grand Opening of the new Meijer in Cedar Springs. Yay!! Meijer only 10 minutes away - how exciting for this Kent City resident! It is a new version of their big superstores...full grocery dept., other departments are smaller but the whole store is very nice. Maybe because it's smaller I will spend less time in it, therefore spending less $$?! It will be great having one close by and not having to drive down Alpine! I am committed to shopping our local KC Marketplace for the specials each week. Our local store needs our business, too, especially since they're in front of our new church and have been so gracious to KCBC. After Meijer we all celebrated Mother's Day with a bowl of ice cream. What a privilege and responsibility God has given me to raise these four precious children. I'm sure thankful for my wonderful husband and the team we are in this parenting role. Though tiring and though it's the hardest job I've ever had, it's Far and Away the BEST job I've ever had and worth the effort!

I had a brainstorm Friday morning, so that afternoon had my students write a note/letter/acrostic/poem to their Mom on pretty paper. I only gave two requirements: write from your heart, and please write use good writing, penmanship, grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. ("You don't want your Mom focusing on what poor spelling you have, etc.") The office had some nice white 5 x 8 envelopes they were glad to let me use, so voila! My 10th graders were all set for Mother's Day! I told 'em they had each saved $3-4! A few already had a plan, but the majority did not. On Monday, I asked what the response was, and of course their moms appreciated it. "My mom cried," said many of them. That was my goal - haha - of course not, but I was glad to have a small role in helping them honor their moms. I have a feeling most of them would have remembered it was Mother's Day on Sat night or Sun morning. ;) When I taught middle schoolers, I used to do something like that for Mother's Day, but seeing "big" teenagers jump at the chance to write to their moms was special. I think during the last week of school we'll do something like that for their Dad (Stepdad, Grandpa, etc.) for Father's Day.

Well, time to go on a bike ride with Seth-er! I'll try to post some pics of Mother's Day cuteness soon. On the way home from church, Robyn asked, "Do you want us to go out to the rocks in the backyard so you can take our picture?!" :0) Too cute.

What would you say?

THE SCENARIO: After our Fellowship Group tonight, it was 8:35 (past the kids' bedtime). Our guests had left and Aaron was asleep in his crib. Seth was getting his jammies on upstairs. I turned around and saw Robyn lounging in the big chair reading and Nathan flopped on the couch reading.
Mom: "OK Guys, time to head for bed."
Robyn: "But I can't head to bed - I'm reading the Bible!"
Nathan: "And I can't head to bed, either - I'm reading the dictionary!"
Sure enough, they were reading those exact books....

So, how would you respond? I called Ken in and with a smile shared with him how N & R had responded. He had them snuggle next to him on the couch and said, "I'm glad you like reading the Bible. And I'm glad you like learning new things!" But, I have something to read to you. He looked up Ecclesiastes 3 and read, "There is a time for everything, a season for every purpose under heaven: a time to plant, and time to pick what is planted; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to keep, and a time to cast away, a time to keep silence, and a time to speak, a time to brush teeth, and a time to go to bed."

I believe that was read from both English Standard Version (ESV) and the KCV version......

And of course Nathan (who was listening, not reading along), said, "Hey! The Bible doesn't say to go to bed!" Smart Kid. Ken told him he was right, but even though it didn't say it, there certainly is a time for everything.

A little more encouragement, and off they went. :)

I like how Ken finds clever ways to handle situations and thought it was neat they had chosen those books to read. Sometimes with the kids I need to NOT go with my initial response and think of a different route or creative response and that would be better for all.

p.s. Dad - they love their Children's Bible Hour stories and music! Thank you!

Melacholy...

Maybe it's the dreary, gray day...
Maybe it's the rain...
Maybe it's the time of year...
Maybe it's the end of the week...
Maybe it's the "day in and day out" of it all...
but whatever it is, I feel "blah."

Does anyone else ever feel worn out by the time the kids are in bed (when you have time for yourself, but are too tired to do anything)? Does anyone else ever sit down at the dinner table to eat, after preparing the meal, and are so weary they just want to put their head in their hands?

Please don't take this wrong.
1. I am incredibly grateful for the life God has given me. I should dwell more on that!
2. My husband is so giving. He gives and gives some more. I wish he had more time to do what he wanted, not what others needed.
3. Our 4 kids are soooooo precious and such a gift. How fortunate that I can be the one to feed, clothe, hug, love, teach, snuggle, read to, enjoy, and be their one and only Mama!

But sometimes I get So. Weary.
I've told my high school students that being a Mom is the best, most rewarding job I've ever had and will ever have. I follow that up with being a Mom is the most challenging job I've ever had and will ever have. And that's followed by explaining how grateful I am to have a loving, supportive husband....that's the best route to go!
I am not a night person. My energy is in the mornings, or at least during daylight hours. I used to chuckle at my Mom for her 10:00 pm "Cinderella Time," as I called it. I would ask her if she would turn into a pumpkin....and of course, I'm exactly the same. :) I have lofty ambitions for what to do when the kids are in bed. The two hours or so of time seems so long. But, then reality. I usually make it to the couch, read the paper, fiddle around on the computer, etc., and tonight it felt ambitious to write this.

*Sigh.*

Could I force myself to do more? Yes. At times, I do. But other times, I think it's fine to just sit after a busy day - physically and emotionally - and relax/decompress.

Ken just came home - he's been teaching each Thursday evening for a while. Combine that with his Tuesday night meetings and Wed night responsibilities, and by Thursday night, I'm pooped. Aaron is walking up a storm. SO CUTE!!! And so busy! And why is his favorite place the bathrooms? And then the dishwasher? And then, and then, and then....And why does he love to dump everything - except his toys?! And how does he learn without me saying "No" time and time and time again? Ken says, "He is something! He has the gift for finding the worst possible way to make a mess. There's books? Tear them off the shelves. I want ALL of the towels out of the drawer, ALL of the pans out of the cupboard. Unlike a tornado, which is random disaster, he is quite purposeful in his mess-making! And the strange thing is, he doesn't take ALL of his toys out of his toy bin." Good thing he's got such good grins. He's adorable.

Aaron's busyness, in conjunction with our three other darlin's needs, make my rice sock (received from the hospital after having a baby) get warmed often and placed on my shoulders in the evenings. After all the responsibilities of the day, sometimes a cozy blanket, a rice sock, and some down time are just the ticket for a Mom. Would you agree?

Our Sweet Vampire!

With grins like these, would you agree with me that I have THE BEST job in the world?!
He's such a happy boy! He makes my heart full of joy.
He's Our Boy.

Parenting

This past Sunday was Baby Dedication in our church, and this poem was read during the service. It was read by one of the fathers. It was hung in his parents' home, and now his family has a copy in his home. I appreciate the heartfelt words, genuineness, and practicality of it and would like to display a copy in my home. The last line is especially convicting...that word imitate...

Parent’s Prayer

O Heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal. And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind. And fit me, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen.

- Anonymous poem passed down from Joe Clements’ parents

There She Goes...

We're ready to roll!!They sure like each other...Nathan's been telling her lots of the good things about school lately & they were eager to go this morning.
. . . not just a walkin' down the street, because we don't live down from the school any longer. Instead, she, Daddy, and Nathan piled into the truck this morning, and she headed off to kindergarten. She was excited and cute, with her big smile, jean skirt with polka dots (aren't polka dots on little girls the cutest thing?!) and bright pink shirt with a flower on the front. She is a sweet girl. Lord, please keep her sweet and help her teacher, classmates, and others to be kind to her. Keep her safe - emotionally and physically. Help her cultivate a love of learning! Please keep her heart tender and loving. Maximize the positive influences and minimize the negative. May she show others she loves You! Above all, please help her learning and interactions mold her into a godly little girl and young lady. Thank you for Mrs. Taylor, her nurturing, Christian teacher.

My mother's heart is happy for her (she has been looking forward to this for some time) as well as a bit wistful & sad. There's something about seeing your little girl head off into the big world that catches in the throat.

(I know this is blurry, but so "Robyn" -)

I wrote all the above this morning; now I write the following (10 pm):

She was happy when she left; she was happy afterwards! Big smiles & hugs, joy oozing out of her, and wow what a difference in how much she shares! Things from strategies how Mrs. Taylor gets their attention (a clapping repetition they repeat) to how they sit (criss-cross-applesauce) to where she puts her lunch bag to how hot it was at recess "so we had quiet time afterwards - but not rest time, Mom" (i.e. no sleeping)! Very cute to hear it all and Ken smiled as he knows I crave to hear from Nathan what's happening but he's a boy of fewer words. My heart is grateful and light for her now and I know she is in our Father's Hands! At dinner we asked everyone to share something they liked about their day. Robyn: "Recess and lunch!" Nathan: "Lunch and Recess." "Math, too." and Seth: "Playing at Mrs. Rivard's." Seth was sad to see his sister and brother head off to school and I'm glad he had something fun to do, too.

Here's to a great first day! Let's remember to pray for our kids & grandkids who are in school.

Note to Self...

When your three year old says, "My throat hurts," remember that to him the throat is in the vicinity of the stomach and you'd better grab a bucket-fast!!!

OR - you may just have to clean yourself, your son, all clothes from both of you, your couch cushion, and your kitchen floor VERY THOROUGHLY.

That was our Thursday morning.

Thankfully, the kitchen floor needed mopping and it had been on my to-do list for a few days. Thank you, Ray, for disinfecting and cleaning that cushion. The kitchen floor has never been so clean. Without going into detail, let's just say that the smell of that stuff almost makes me do it myself.....

Poor Seth. He usually is bouncing with energy, and he was pretty lethargic that day.

Oh - other variations from a three-year-old may include: "My tummy is high," "My tummy is hot," "My tummy is rumbly," and other variations on that theme. Once stomach is settled, introduce other foods very slowly, or you may have a recurrence (we know this from experience, too)

When my kids are sick, it always reminds me of how grateful I must be that they are healthy; that there are children who suffer from illnesses or diseases. A friend just told me about a 16 MONTH old who she saw who has no hair - she talked with the mom and the little guy has cancer and is undergoing treatment. Wow - no complaining. We are blessed - you, too?

Here's Smiling at You!

(Like Father, Like Son - Aaron and Daddy dressed alike today!)

Grins like that warm our hearts! Aaron's been smiling for a while...here are some pics taken this week. He is quick to smile when you talk to him, looks at you with wide blue eyes, seems to enjoy the activity and bustle that occurs in our home, tries hard to 'talk' - so cute!! I adore that boy...often call him "sweet boy" because that's the best description of what he is. He had a major case of cradle cap and once that was taken care of, much of his newborn hair was gone - sad, because it was so soft and there was lots of it (though typically falls out around this time). He's our boy - still a champion eater and grower - probably about 18-19 lbs. My high school basketball coach would have liked my current biceps back 15 years ago when I was playing ball! Who needs to life traditional weights? If you want to tone up, come on over and hold our Aaron!

Happy Mother's Day!

Found these quotes as I was studying for the talk I gave. It was special to see so many grandmas (most of whom are also great-grandmas!) and realize their faithfulness to God and their families for many decades. Robyn and Seth sang some of their favorite songs with me, we read "Five Little Monkeys Wash the Car," where they chime in on the "I Know, says one little monkey!" part, the ladies sang songs while I accompanied on the keyboard, and then I spoke about the power of encouragement and prayer that moms and grandmas have. The new church made for a nice luncheon spot and the women seemed to enjoy themselves.

• "Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old." ~Mary H. Waldrip
• "What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure." ~Gene Perret
• "I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain." ~Gene Perret
• "Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric." ~Pam Brown
• "Grandmothers are good at sitting on the floor to play, but they can be terribly difficult to get upright again."
• "Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete." ~Marcy DeMaree
• A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend."
• "Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world."-- Kate Douglas Wiggin
• "A mom laughs our laughter, shares our tears, returns our love, fears our fears."

And the two I love the most:

• "Mom's the first one you go to…when the best things happen…when the worst things happen…or when you just need to know someone loves you."
• "I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."-- Abraham Lincoln

Happy Mother's Day to all my readers who are Moms! Thanks for your hard work for your families. May your children rise up to call you blessed! Did you read in the paper (GR Press) that if a stay-at-home mom's salary was determined, it would be $117,000+ per year?! How much I love those hugs, kisses, and "I love you, Mommy" - they're priceless! We look forward to dedicating Aaron in church on Sunday and having Dad & Char over for dinner. Dad & Mom V. would like to come, but it's best if he stays close to his easy chair as he recuperates from his surgery.